Bad: The Michael Jackson Musical

Thriller?  See, that doesn't really work for me.  In my opinion, Bad would have been a far better song choice for the title of the Michael Jackson musical.  It pains me to say this, but this musical was so Bad that, if I hadn't been having such a great time making fun of it, I would have walked out and saved myself the pain of actually having to endure it.
Sarah, Britny and I got Kari tickets to see the show for her birthday (if you haven't noticed, tickets to a show has kind of become our standard birthday gift).  We were all super excited.  I mean, who wouldn't want to spend two hours on a Sunday afternoon rocking out to Michael Jackson songs being sung by a Michael Jackson impersonator!?  Answer: you.  Trust me.
First of all, the songs weren't all sung by a Michael Jackson impersonator.  In fact, an impersonator didn't come out until the last twenty minutes of the show.  The songs before that were sung by random people; some were bald, some were white, one was a woman.  Some might argue that this was all very cleverly planned, and that the white guys and the woman were meant to symbolize the androgynous nature of and the skin colour altering choices made by Michael Jackson.  What it looked like to me, though, was just a bunch of fairly talentless people singing Michael Jackson songs really poorly.  And this is, of course, where the making fun part comes in. 
We nicknamed one guy Passion Douche Bag.  He was a pretty good singer actually, but he was super weird.  He would bend completely over throughout his performances, he would stand in one place and sing to the wall for long periods of time, stuff like that.  He was passionate, we gave him that (hence the name); but really, who sings at the wall?  A douche bag, that's who.
Then there was the woman.  We called her Madusa Rat's Nest because her hair looked like, can you guess it?  A rat's nest.  It was actually disgusting.  Want to know what else was disgusting about her?  The fact that she would spontaneously grab her boobs (and hoist them up and hold them for quite some time) throughout the show.  It was ridiculous.  Especially considering a large part of the audience were children.  Poor taste.
And the dancing!  Horrible choreography, not to mention the fact that the dancers weren't in sync at all...ever.
Now, there were a few good performances, I will give them that.  Man in the Mirror and Heal the World were well done.  But I honestly have nothing great to say about the show, as you can obviously tell.  I wouldn't recommend it to anyone.  I can't believe it's on broadway, and I can't imagine it will be on for long.  At least I hope not.