Sexy Italian Vacation

One of the countries at the top of my list before I moved to England was Italy and this October half-term I finally got to cross it off! Kari, Matthew and I left on Saturday October 23rd for Rome to start off our sexy Italian vacation. Now before I begin, there are ten things you should know before reading about my trip to Italy:

1. none of the men are attractive

2. I barely ate any cheese or pizza or spaghetti

3. or drank any wine

4. we didn’t walk hardly at all

5. the cities are horrendously ugly

6. it is super cheap

7. every picture I took was permitted

8. the shopping sucked – I didn’t buy anything leather

9. there are no artists or singers or vendors on the streets

10. all the toilets are very clean and easy to pee in

Now that you are up to speed about all that, allow me to begin. We arrived in Rome at about 5:30 in the evening and made our way to our hostel, which was conveniently close to the train station. Since it was later in the day we just spent the night wandering around the city, getting our bearings, and went out for our first of many Italian pizza dinners in an area of the city called Trastevere, across the Trevere river. All the rumors about the scrumptiousness of Italian pizza are true, by the way – I don’t think I have ever heard three people ooh and aah about food like the three of us did that night. After our dinner, as we made our way back to our hostel, we stumbled upon Santa Cecilia church and decided to go inside. There was a youth group there offering people candles to light, and if you so chose you could write a prayer on a piece of paper and deposit it into one of several boxes, based on the language written, at the altar. There were three girls playing piano, guitar, and violin off to the side, and accompanying the instruments with absolutely beautiful singing. The church is dedicated to the patron of music, who was martyred there in the 3rd century A.D, so I supposed it was quite fitting. It was incredibly peaceful there, and although I am not a religious person and did not light a candle or make a prayer, I sat in a pew and just absorbed the extraordinary atmosphere of the place. It was overwhelmingly serene and I probably could have sat there for hours.

We began our next day by purchasing tickets for the Hop On Hop Off Bus Tour so that we could get to Vatican City and buy tickets for the next day. The Vatican is closed on Sundays (for obvious) reasons and we were recommended by several people to get our tickets in advance to avoid the massive ques. The weather was positively gorgeous and so we sat on the roof-less second floor of the double-decker bus and soaked in the sun as we were driven around Rome. On our way to the Vatican we drove by many things that we later visited (and so I will write about them later), but one of the sights we did not have a chance to visit in person was Circus Maximus, the location of partial filming in the movie Ben Hur, and the grounds where actual chariot races used to take place.

After we bought our tickets for the Vatican we were lucky (not sure of the word choice here) to have the opportunity to witness a Catholic funeral commencing right outside Vatican City. There were hundreds of people all dressed in purple and an orchestra following a magnificently adorned casket hoisted by some very important looking pallbearers. It was quite the thing to see. We decided to walk around the rest of the city instead of taking the bus since it was such a beautiful day. We strolled along the busy streets of Rome, stopping for our first of many gelato breaks (strawberry and lemon for me), and making our way to the Pantheon. The word Pantheon translates to “temple of all gods” and is the best preserved and most elegant ancient building in the city (and arguably the world). The building was very impressive; the floors are marble and show a pattern of circles and squares, shapes which, as depicted in Leonardo’s drawing of the Vitruvian Man, the human body most naturally occupies. To demonstrate this I decided to lie down in one of the circles in the formation of the Vitruvian Man. I am such a scientist/artist/comedian.

Trevi Fountain was next on our list. This is Rome’s most celebrated fountain and we visited it three times; once during the day, once at twilight, and once in the pure darkness of the night. It was recommended to us to visit the fountain at night because of the floodlights, which make it look cleaner and doubly spectacular. This was probably one of my favourite sights in Rome; it was so gorgeous I didn’t even mind the ridiculous number of people in my way while I tried to take a picture. My other favourite sight in Rome, which we saw next, was the Colosseum – the Flavian amphitheatre whose initial function was as a theatre for slaughter. It is absolutely mammoth in size, and could seat 65,000 Romans during games that could last days to weeks at a time.

The history surrounding the Colosseum is very interesting; as I’m sure you know, gladiators would fight lions to the death, hoping to someday win their freedom. What you may not know, however, is that in the 400 years that the Colosseum was used for this ‘sport’ fewer than 100 men actually ever succeeded. I was amazed by the figure; the way these events are portrayed in movies, it seemed to me like there would have been way more successes (although I should have assumed Hollywood wouldn’t accurately portray this kind of thing…). We headed back to Trevi Fountain for our nighttime visit and had dinner afterwards at a spaghetteria called L’Archetto. This is by far one of the best restaurants I have ever been to, and if I had went back to the Santa Cecilia church I would have written my prayer as follows: “Please please please make this restaurant a chain and bring it to Canada, about a block from my house. Thank-you.” The menu at this place was just immeasurable – I don’t think I have ever seen so many options at one restaurant before. I am telling you, there were probably 50 or more spaghetti options and probably the same number of selections for pizzas. It took us about a half an hour the first night to decide what we wanted. I say “the first night” because we went back there the next day. The food was just too delicious to ignore, and it was cheap and offered fantastic wine too; what more can you ask for?

It rained on our last day in Rome, but it wasn’t that big of a deal because we spent the day in the Vatican Museums and inside St. Peter’s Basilica. The museums were a little boring, I have to admit. There are only so many sculptures of old naked guys that you can look at before it becomes a bit blasé. The only two parts of the museum worth mentioning, in my opinion, were the Lacoon and His Sons statue and the Sistine Chapel which showcase Michelangelo’s famous frescoes on the ceiling. It was really cool to actually see with my own eyes The Creation of Adam – it is actually a lot smaller than I imagined it being; again, probably because of the way Hollywood portrays it. The evening of our last day in Rome was spent walking down the Spanish Steps (made by the French…in Italy…) and eating another incomparable meal at the spaghetteria. Goodnight!

On day four we made our way to Florence on the train, and since Pisa is on the way (kind of), we decided to stop off there for a few hours in order to see the Leaning Tower (Torre Pendente). Trust me, if you ever go to Italy (which you definitely should) and want to see the Leaning Tower, do it – but under no circumstances stay the night in Pisa. There is nothing to do there, really, apart from pretending to push over/kick down/hold up the tower, which we spent probably about an hour doing.

It was great fun, trying over and over again to figure out exactly where to stand/hold the camera in order to get the right angle and thus the perfect picture. It was interesting to learn, also, that the reason the tower (the bell tower to the cathedral Duomo) is leaning is because it was built on sinking subsoil. It began to lean almost immediately after it was built, and after much reconstruction over the years, now leans only 14ft. After our laughter-infused photoshoot, we had lunch and then boarded the train to Florence.

When we arrived in Florence our first stop was the Piazzale Michelangelo, a grand balcony that overlooks the entire city and is also the home of San Miniato al Monte church, the most spiritual of Florentine churches. Benedictine monks still live here and there was a service going on inside that was really humbling. The view was simply stunning, and although it was freezing cold up there, it was definitely worth the trek. That night for dinner we were in need of a break from pizza and pasta, so we went to an American-style restaurant and had hotdogs and hamburgers to satisfy our cravings.

The next day we toured all of Florence, starting with the The Museo dell'Opera del Duomo and the Cattedrale di Santa Maria del Fiore (Duomo), which are one of Europe’s most majestic museums and cathedrals. The cathedral is the symbol of Florence and has a very interesting exterior: part church, part candy cane, part zebra – showcasing stripes of marble-white, bottle-green, and pink. The Ghiberti’s Doors, at the Battostero San Giovanni which is across the small street from the Duomo, are world-famous and are said to mark the start of the Renaissance. They are real gold and depict scenes from the Bible, from the Garden of Eden to Moses parting the water. The Duomo and the doors were one of my favourite sights in Florence.

We made our way to the Accademia museum to see Michelangelo’s David, which is absolutely huge, by the way. It was incredible! I didn’t expect it to be so massive and have such marvelous detail. I took a picture even though I wasn’t supposed to (such a rebel).

We then ventured to the Piazza della Signoria (not before a little gelato break – Kinder Egg and cookie dough this time), which is known as the “monumental heart of Florence.” It is an open-air museum which is home to a replica of the statue of David as well as Giambologna’s Rape of the Sabines and Cellini’s Perseus holding the severed head of Medusa (I liked this one the best, as Medusa is my favourite myth from highschool). We walked along the Ponte Vecchio which is the city’s oldest bridge and is entirely made up of shops – the shops were originally occupied by blacksmiths and butchers but are now stores for solid gold and silver jewelry. The leather markets, too, are hugely vast and unbelievably cheap (considering it’s all genuine Italian leather). I have never in all my life wished more that I was a millionaire.

That afternoon we went to the Palazzo Pitti, a 15th century Medici palace. We saw the gardens only and nearly had the most excellent find of our lives when Matthew noticed a 500 euro note lying on the ground. Alas, it was fake, but for a mere three seconds all our dreams of owning some of that Ponte Vecchio jewelry came true.  On day six we arrived in Venice, the last city of our sexy Italian vacation. The afternoon we arrived we took an hour-long gondola ride, cruising on the Grand Canal under Rialto’s Bridge, passing under the famous Bridge of Sighs, and through a number of picturesque waterways. It cost a pretty penny, but I could not go home without doing it – why else go to Venice!? Our gondolier was very nice, fluent in English, and educated us enormously about the history of Venice. I found it very interesting that there is only one female gondolier, for example.

After our extremely romantic gondola adventure, we went to a Baroque Opera concert. We tried to get tickets to see an actual Opera at La Fenice, the most famous opera house in the world, but there were no tickets available for either night we were there. The show we saw, though, still gave us a taste of Italian Opera and didn’t entirely bankrupt us. I even recognized one of the songs that the baritone sang – “Figaro, Figaro, Fiiiiiiigaro!” – it is probably familiar to you too.

The next day, sadly our last, we spent some time in the Basilica di San Marco in Piazza San Marco, the square known as the heart of the city. We also decided to do the tour of the inside of La Fenice opera house (took some more pictures that I wasn’t supposed to), and walked across the water to the Santa Maria della Salute church - or church of the plague. This location offers the most beautiful view in Venice.

Sadly though, we are dumb and didn’t get to go in the church as we arrived there during the three hours in the afternoon that it is closed. We went back across the river and had a lovely lunch and some wine and, feeling a little tipsy, wandered around the Rialto Bridge window shopping at all the amazing glass-blown knick-knacks. Venice has a massive glass-blowing industry, and also has a ridiculous amount of stores selling Venetian masks (because of their annual Carnivale), so it was great fun to look around at everything they make.
We had a very early night our last day, as we had to get up at 5am to catch our water-bus to the train station in order to get to the airport in time for our flight. It was a sad moment, saying goodbye to Italy. I can’t even put into words how much I loved it there. It is definitely at the top of my list of countries I have visited since moving to the UK. I hope one day I can return, and pray that when I do, it is on my honeymoon with my very wealthy husband.